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February 9, 2014

Refusing A Drink, Politely, Firmly

by Brendan

A topic that often comes around once again at A.A. meetings in my area (Gainesville, FL) is what do I do when I go to a party, wedding reception, etc., and someone offers me a drink?  Then the group discusses it for the rest of the hour.

And I’m baffled that so many people in my A.A. community lack basic communication skills — unable to communicate to a friend, relative, acquaintance, bartender that they don’t want a drink.

Here’s what to do: When offered a drink, you reply that no, I can’t drink, I have Melaleuca.

 To which the other person answers, I thought melaleuca was a tree.

Evil, Invasive, Australian Melaleuca Tree

Evil, Invasive, Australian Melaleuca Tree

You reply, imagine that — how can the same word be used a disease and a tree?
The question comes up: What happens if you have melaleuca and you drink?  The answer to that is, I wouldn’t want to test it, but the medical literature says that the heart instantly and rapidly expands, and bursts out through the top of your head.
Another strategic plan upon being offered a drink is to say no, I’ve taken a Nazarite Vow.  In The Book of Numbers (4th book of the Bible), the rules for those who take Nazarite vows are laid out.  Not cut your hair, of course, but also, no wine, no vinegar, no grapes, dried or fresh.
I love it — not only no wine, but also no grapes, either.  Just wanna make sure that nothing ferments into wine in your digestive tract, I guess.
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