Took a little vacation from A.A., this week, just a couple of days. And despite the implicit prediction of disaster for anyone who takes a vacay (like skipping vital medication, some think), no relapse.
I just needed a break. When I did reading suggested (suggested?) by my sponsor, to wit the first chapter of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, it just seemed a blur of meaningless words. I’d read it many times, yeah powerless, yeah who wants to admit that, yeah yeah necessary to do so — but it was just blah blah.
Similarly, the 12:15 meeting I’ve been going to 3-4, sometimes 5 days a week, just seemed rote and superficial — few people said anything that caught fire with me, too much repetition, too much self-congratulation, too many expressions of gratitude to the A.A. program (which always seem rather pro forma to me). And the rotating chairs of the meeting don’t seem able to tell time; if the meeting ends at 1:15, it’s not such a good idea at 1:07 to encourage one more share — we have chips, announcements, a reading, the Serenity Prayer. All of that will always take 8-10 minutes.
I guess I wouldn’t mind the meeting go overtime if I weren’t regularly so bored.
This morning’s meeting was pretty OK– 2 out of the 8 people who shared said things that interested me, the meditation period was enjoyable. (And we went 6 minutes overtime.)
Maybe I’ll try another meeting tomorrow.