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October 26, 2013

1

A.A. Vacay

by Brendan

Took a little vacation from A.A., this week, just a couple of days.  And despite the implicit prediction of disaster for anyone who takes a vacay (like skipping vital medication, some think), no relapse.

I just needed a break.  When I did reading suggested (suggested?) by my sponsor, to wit the first chapter of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, it just seemed a blur of meaningless words.  I’d read it many times, yeah powerless, yeah who wants to admit that, yeah yeah necessary to do so — but it was just blah blah.

Similarly, the 12:15 meeting I’ve been going to 3-4, sometimes 5 days a week, just seemed rote and superficial — few people said anything that caught fire with me, too much repetition, too much self-congratulation, too many expressions of gratitude to the A.A. program (which always seem rather pro forma to me).  And the rotating chairs of the meeting don’t seem able to tell time; if the meeting ends at 1:15, it’s not such a good idea at 1:07 to encourage one more share — we have chips, announcements, a reading, the Serenity Prayer.  All of that will always take 8-10 minutes.

I guess I wouldn’t mind the meeting go overtime if I weren’t regularly so bored.

This morning’s meeting was pretty OK– 2 out of the 8 people who shared said things that interested me, the meditation period was enjoyable.  (And we went 6 minutes overtime.)

Maybe I’ll try another meeting tomorrow.

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1 Comment Post a comment
  1. Mark
    Oct 26 2013

    Brendan, I got to a point where I realized I didn’t need AA any longer, for many of the same reasons you stated. But I still believe it’s the best way to maintain sobriety, especially if one has only been at it a short while ( I stopped going after my second ‘anniversary’ ).
    That was about 15 years ago…I still use the steps as a way of life, not because of alcohol, but because life is such a bitch.

    Reply

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